There are times in your life when nature taps you on the shoulder and says, "You evolved from an ape, never forget that". We are all subject to the laws of nature. Don't believe me? Have a swim in shark-infested waters and see how high up on the food chain you really are. My natural beating over the head, occurred on a December road-trip with Snobby {PhD - Pompous Gittery} to visit our loved ones. We were coming down the East Coast of South Africa, and passing the Drakensberg.
Long trips are a schlep for me, as I can't sit still on a sugar-less day, but in this case I was actually behaving myself... when nature called. One of the laws of physics (I forget which, and the never-ending debate has made me too stubborn to check) states that a body in motion will remain in motion and a body at rest will blah blah blah etc. The laws of nature, however, state: A rolling stone gathers no moss. This particular stone was just sitting, minding her own business, regarding the majesty of the mountains.
Luckily, nestled into the mountain-side was an idyllic little town, right in my path to relief. The petrol pumps are powered by natives. Any road off the main drag is paved, not in yellow bricks, but in dust and stones. The hotel smells like ghosts. I know this for a fact, because we had stopped there on the way up to Grappa Mountain. I had made a dash down the The Shining-like corridor to use the bathroom. I can't recall if there was any electricity, but for argument's sake, the landlady lit up a candle and showed me the way. There were voices down that corridor.... But I get carried away.
I should have known the town was cursed. But was Dorothy suspicious of short people who were happy with their station in life? No, but she should've been. Idol worship is indicative of serious and deep-seated inadequacies as well as mommy-issues. Snobby executed a perfect hand-brake turn into the parking lot. I Dukes of Hazzarded it out the window and was halfway down the corridor when the landlady (retired from lighting candles and serving pink champagne on ice) peeped from behind her smug desk. "We're closed", she said. I stood in the open door, looking skeptical and NOT thinking about the Victoria Falls, for all I was worth.
The hiccup was that new plumbing was being dug and the whole town was decommissioned. The whole town?!? Is that even hygienic?
I will never again visit Underberg (the town that shares a single toilet). The 67km to Kokstad were a sheer test of will power and I am eternally grateful that I am distracted by colours and shiny things. Stones rolling at a gajillion kilometres an hour in passenger seats, going to their happy place in desperation, gather no moss. But Newton's Law holds true.
